she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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