dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
