I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
