Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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