y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
