That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
