your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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