At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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