she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
