Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?

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(616): STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW? http://tfl.nu/6356

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(602): View more from Arizona

at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long

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(602): at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long http://tfl.nu/0rd0

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(415): View more from California

And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.

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(415): And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked. http://tfl.nu/8nhm

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(914): View more from New York

After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...

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(914): After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories... http://tfl.nu/40wb

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.

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(617): Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant. http://tfl.nu/y6pb

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(307): View more from Wyoming

When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!

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(307): When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"! http://tfl.nu/t4t6

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(516): View more from New York

I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship

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(516): I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship http://tfl.nu/9ygn

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(847): View more from Illinois

Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.

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(847): Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too. http://tfl.nu/lfcy

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(937): View more from Ohio

That's science, my friend. Boner science.

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(937): That's science, my friend. Boner science. http://tfl.nu/d39q

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.

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(270): Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house. http://tfl.nu/zb8n

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.

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(715): I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE. http://tfl.nu/ipmq

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(757): View more from Virginia

Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick

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(757): Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick http://tfl.nu/3rkl

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive

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(412): The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive http://tfl.nu/jyc3

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(618): View more from Illinois

I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.

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(618): I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high. http://tfl.nu/waf9

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.

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(717): After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again. http://tfl.nu/ujp5

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