i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?