Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I think I just got seasick

  (409): View more from Texas

  you're not on a boat

  (408): View more from California

  he has a waterbed.

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  (408): I think I just got seasick (409): you're not on a boat (408): he has a waterbed. http://tfl.nu/239c
  Replies (7) Good night (1530) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  barbara walters just said penis...

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  (650): barbara walters just said penis... http://tfl.nu/ninz
  Replies (10) Good night (2875) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.

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  (678): I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts. http://tfl.nu/4sqd
  Replies (95) Good night (21680) Bad night (1649)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.

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  (951): We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie. http://tfl.nu/3rqj
  Replies (5) Good night (3913) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them

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  (307): If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them http://tfl.nu/vjhk
  Replies (13) Good night (4682) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"

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  (814): He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind" http://tfl.nu/73d5
  Replies (14) Good night (3010) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet

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  (480): I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet http://tfl.nu/9wvg
  Replies (3) Good night (4151) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.

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  (513): Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right. http://tfl.nu/n7uj
  Replies (2) Good night (875) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair

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  (914): Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair http://tfl.nu/v5lw
  Replies (1) Good night (1784) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures

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  (309): Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures http://tfl.nu/7kml
  Replies (9) Good night (916) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.

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  (919): Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him. http://tfl.nu/jn2a
  Replies (2) Good night (1011) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby

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  (403): Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby http://tfl.nu/ngks
  Replies (0) Good night (312) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.

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  (508): Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance. http://tfl.nu/togo
  Replies (0) Good night (494) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom

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  (734): Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom http://tfl.nu/vsfc
  Replies (3) Good night (821) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one

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  (336): I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one http://tfl.nu/2mql
  Replies (0) Good night (514) Bad night (232)

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