I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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