Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
23 Annoying things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Cute
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.