my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
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I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
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I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.