Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
