This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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