i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
worst night to have a conscience
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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