I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i love accidental penises.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
