Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize