Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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