oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
