You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
