pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
