literally had 100 drinks last night.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This is the high leading the old right now
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
