The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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