Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
