You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
