Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
