eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
All the doctor said was why
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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