I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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