Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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