Pappa wants mamma naked
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
