Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
