Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
