oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
