Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
