I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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