It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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