he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
