You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
