Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
