Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
A bitchslap is in order.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
