HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
