The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
