After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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