My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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