Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
