Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
