my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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