Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
