Where is the hickey?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
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Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize