the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
