grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
