i think i have herpe
just one?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
