I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
