Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
