"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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