Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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