He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
