thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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