After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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