Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
