So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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