i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
