I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
