I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
