You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Found your dick twin last night
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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