It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
