sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
