"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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